What to: do if you can’t adult

What to: do if you can’t adult

Here are 13 problems everyone who sucks at adulting can relate to

By Candice Jackson | 28th October 2015

Being a grown-up sounded awesome when you were a kid: you could eat ice-cream whenever you felt like it, wear what you wanted, make up your own curfew and kiss members of the opposite sex without fear of cooties.

BUT oh how those idealistic views fade. You find out ice-cream makes you fat, what you want to wear is too damn expensive and the adult version of cooties is 10 times worse. Ugh!

Here are the 13 signs you haven’t yet evolved into a fully-formed adult, and how to fix them.

Problem: You don’t have private healthcare

Solution: There comes a day where you’ll be weaned off your parents’ healthcare. And when that day comes, you’ll have to add yet another expense to your list and pay for your own. You’ll probably proceed to put it off until just before your 30th birthday, though. And that’s fine. You’re using a very grown-up coping mechanism called procrastination.

Problem: You have no clue what “equity” is

Solution: Google results say it’s the value of the shares issued by a company. And home equity is the value of ownership built up in a home or property that represents the current market value of the house less any remaining mortgage payments. This value is built up over time as the property owner pays off the mortgage and the market value of the property appreciates. Yeah, we’re still lost too.

Problem: You can’t change a tyre

Solution: Next time you call your dad to do it for you (guilty!) watch carefully, take notes, or even record it. Or just YouTube a tutorial. Make sure you don’t get caught in a wormhole, though. Before you know it, it’s dark, it's raining and you’re curled up in the car on the side of the road watching your 47th cat video.

Problem: You have more week left, but your pay has already run out

Solution: Just because you don’t open the bill marked URGENT doesn’t mean it can wait. Budgeting is hard, especially when those new shoes or festival tickets are calling your name. Set up a direct debit for rent, bills and any other regular nasties, and make a decent budget!

Problem: You don’t have a tax accountant

Solution: Get one already. Seriously, one of the best things about adulting is that you can outsource responsibility. Accountants are totally worth the investment (who wants to sit down and do maths as an adult, yuck!) and will reward you with a better tax return… hopefully.

Problem: You shop for new clothes just to avoid doing washing

Solution: This is a big one. Weekends are reserved for fun, and washing is NOT fun, but unless you want to be ducking out to buy a new pair of undies in your lunch break you need to adult up and just do your washing. NO taking over to Mum's doesn't count. Do your washing overnight and hang them up while you’re at work to avoid running out of clothes (or underwear) before your next washing cycle.

Problem: You have a mini breakdown while trying to put together IKEA furniture

Solution:  So many pieces, so VERY much time. Set aside the whole day to give this furniture foe a red-hot crack. Being an adult is an advantage here because trust us, you’ll want to have some wine and cheese ready on the side to assist on this task. Possibly also a stress ball. If all else fails, IKEA have a call-out service to build your furniture on an hourly rate.

Problem: You call you parents for help with anything and everything

Solution: Google will save your life here. Got a problem you'd normally call Mum for? Google it. Because that’s probably what she’ll do as soon as you call. There are loads of online tutorials or blogs on just about anything... Like that time we spilled nail polish on the carpet and needed to know what cleaned it ASAP (it's hairspray and water BTW, who knew?!) If you’re still lost and do need advice from the 'rents, act cool and at least ask them how they are and what they’re up to when you call.

Problem: You can’t even keep a goldfish or pot plant alive

Solution: Please don’t have kids until you can at least keep a plant alive. Start small by nurturing a cacti or a terrarium, then try a single goldfish and name it a human name. Maybe by naming it, you’ll get more attached. Maybe.

Problem: You Google doctor your symptoms and automatically think you're dying

Solution: Oh no! Runny nose, sore arm and a headache: you’ve got the serious case of hypochondria. Use common sense, and go to your GP if symptoms persist.

Problem: You’re not quite sure if you even own an iron… what’s an iron?

Solution: It’s that hot plate thing you use on clothes to make them flatter and let creasy. If you can't stand standing there and making your clothes smooth and pretty, just buy clothes that don’t require ironing, or that can de-crease themselves while hanging up in the bathroom when you take a HOT shower. Or outsource that shiz too.

Problem: The fridge is always empty, and when it’s full it’s full of junk food, leftover pizza and alcohol

Solution: Keep a grocery list on your fridge door. I mean, come on; if that isn’t the most grown-up thing to do, then we don’t know what is. You just need to follow through and actually buy the things. Baby steps.

Problem: You leave your dirty dishes for days in hopes someone else will do it. Mum used to, right?

Solution: That’s gross. Just gross. If you live with other people, they probably hate you. Do the dishes when they’re dirty (no, that doesn’t mean leaving them to soak in the sink for another week). Otherwise plastic or paper plates may be your saviours. Or get a dishwasher and outsource your dishes to the machine!

Even though some of us are well and truly adult age in the Style office, we totally don't feel like we've got a hold on this yet. We're slowly starting to see why our parents always said, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” We're getting better at it every day, but we still hope being a fully fledged adult is a LONG way off.

 

Here are some other stories you might like if you're young at heart:

What To: Do If You Hate Your Housemates

 50 Cheap Thrills Under $50

 Brisbane's Best Doughnuts

 Cheap Tricks for Movie Tix

 20 Drool-worthy Nutella Dishes

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Article by Candice Jackson

Candice Jackson is a former Journalist of Style Magazines. She has an uncontrollable sweet tooth, an irrational fear of birds and a love of travel. Candice believes in the Yes Man Philosophy.